Writing and a little more about me.

Photo © Hannah Proviance

There are beginnings to projects, endeavors, and goals to which everyone starts but may not finish.  Some things are set aside to make room for others, some things never get finished, and some things--to make dreams become reality--are a struggle to complete. Today marks one of the first stepping stones to make one of my life's dreams or goal a reality. Today I forced myself to set aside time to write.

 I have been writing for years but I like to call that practice for the "real job." Making writing a career is often times difficult. When you have family, social obligations, jobs, and school, it can become a narrow juggling act. The best way to achieve this is to set aside an hour or two a day and just write. Seems easier said than done, believe me I know. To be completely honest, even I struggle with this. 

Why?

In the beginning, I struggled with confidence despite encouragement from family, friends, and teachers. Perhaps you do as well. That is okay. No, really, it is. Struggle makes you stronger. Utilize your struggles and turn them into advantages. I know, I know, easier said than done, but that's a struggle in and of itself. 

Some of my struggles are a herniated disk in my lower spine, Fibromyalgia, and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Depression, anxiety, and social phobias are my constant companions. All of these things are treatable to some extent but I live with pain every day in one form or another. I am often exhausted and become overwhelmed easily. I admit to being bitter and angry in the past. I admit to contemplating suicide and mourning the girl I used to be compared to woman I am now. These are my ugly truths. Most of these things will never go away and I understand and accept them for what they are--struggles, and stepping stones that have and will continue to shape me. 

How?

One foot in front of the other. I have to force myself to get out of bed some days, but even that is a triumph. Because I got out of bed. If I can take that first step, I can take another and another and by the end of the day, I have taken many steps.

The same can be said for writing. The first step is to set aside time. I'm not only telling you that; I am telling this to myself. The second, is to do it. No matter what comes out, you've written something, even if you feel it is crap. You can throw it away. You can set it aside for the next day and see what is salvageable. You might get an idea that is surrounded by crap but you wouldn't have had it until you actually sat down and wrote something. To quote Ray Bradbury: "You only fail if you stop writing."

You can't fail if you write something.